An Ode to Jugnu

Issue 1: The Parcha in honour of my nani jaan.

Her sparky personality, whizzing around in the kitchen earned her the nickname ‘Jugnu’, firefly, by my nana.

My nani’s lessons are woven into stories of migration.
The near death experiences traversing the winding roads of Murree Hills as a child. 
Her giggling over the handful of Burmese swearwords from her time in Yangon.
The times she tells me tales of climbing papaya and guava trees in Dehradun.
When she chased my six year old mum down a spiral stair case with a chappal for sneaking a teaspoon of sugar from the pantry ( or was it for stealing a penny from her purse?) when they lived in Rawalpindi.
In hushed tones, she blushes as she recalls letters from my nana asking her to stow away spices in her luggage before she made the journey to London.

Listening to her stories, I am fascinated by my nani’s confidence, tenacity and strength of character. She quickly adapted to the new world in London after a lifetime of a cloistered existence in an extended family system.

Growing up a conservative South Asian woman, she embraced her traditional role as an obliging homemaker. But it was in the kitchen where my nani asserted her power. She found her agency over cauldrons of Biryani served at my mum’s wedding, in the samosas sold in the thousands at my nana’s office and the cooking wisdom she imparts like life lessons to other women in our community.

My nani is every Pakistani woman I have ever met. Cooking is just one of many acts of power, a gesture of freedom in a culture that sometimes denies us this basic right.

At times I feel like the world has us Pakistani women at our knees. We are taught from a young age to persevere, just get on with it, and accept the cards we are dealt.

I draw from the strength of my foremothers. My voice, my will to thrive is an act of defiance in itself. When I feel like I have been knocked down (and trust me, there have been moments plenty) I think of my nani and I find the courage to rise, rise and rise again.

Nani jaan this is for you. It will always be for you.